A Letter From The Past
by Stacy-comedy
Summary: Why is Snape really so aweful to Harry? Is there more? It is rated G, but young readers wont understand. Very dramatic. One shot about Snapes true, deepest feelings.


This is a One Shot about Snape, going deeper into his character and why he hates Harry so much. I own nothing so please don't sue me. The first line came from another story on A Lion King one called Hello my name is Scar, witch you should read, its great. Please review. Here it is

Hello, my name is Severus and you don't know me.

Sure, you may know of me but you don't know me. No one does. To you I am probably that greasy haired hooked nosed professor that likes Malfoy more than Potter.

Tis true that I am mean. And I practically live in a dungeon. But its all defensive. Hiding my true feelings. If anyone knew how I truly felt… I shudder at the thought.

I really don't hate Harry. Far from it in fact. True, I don't love the boy. Not in that way anyway. I do love him like a son I never had though. Perhaps that's why I'm so awful to him. I don't mean to be. It just…happens. I look at him, and it brings back so many memories. I look at him and see James, and all that hatred comes back. Hatred. And love.

Sirius teased me. And James did too I suppose. It took me a long time to see it, but there was something in his eyes. Something different than in the eyes of others. I was never loved. My parents sent me away when I was very young. They never truly wanted me around anyway. But in his eyes I saw the possibility of love. Of being accepted for the first time. Of the one true place I belonged. Being loved. It opened whole new doors for me. And I finally saw it in his eyes.

One day we were the last to leave after a transfiguration class. He stopped me as I was about to walk out the door.

"I see the way you look at me." He said to me. It was the first thing he ever said that wasn't spoken in a teasing manner, or a hurtful voice. Those words were permanently imbedded in my memory.

"I don't know what you mean" I said, trying to feign innocents.

"Yes, you do" he said softly. He kissed me then. Pulled me close to him and kissed me. And I put all my soul into that kiss. All my longing, all my love, all my devotion, all my being. It was the start of the most beautiful thing in the world.

We started meeting secretly after that. Empty classrooms, common rooms after all the others had gone to bed, it wasn't hard. We would talk for hours. We knew everything about each other. No secrets. It was perfect

I should have known it was too good to last. I suppose I always knew, subconsciously. But I wouldn't let myself believe it.

I loved him. More than anything. More than life itself. And he loved me. I truly believe he did. I know he did. I could tell. Why else would he have been with me.

The others knew nothing of course. I don't know what they would do if they did know. But then there was the letter.

I dream sometimes about what would have happened if he never sent the letter to me. About the possibility of him being alive. And one day another letter coming for me in the mail. 'I love you, I always have, you know its true. I'm still alive. Living far away. Come stay with me. Bring Harry. I want to know him too. We can be a family. Like we always wanted.' But this is just that. A dream. Sitting here in my office, alone, I take out the letter. I read it and tears again spill from my eyes.

Things could have been so different. Why couldn't he just have stayed with me? In my heart I know he wanted to. But the day I got this letterwas the day my eyes changed from warm to cold. We secretly remained friends, but it was never the same. The one letter that changed my life forever.

Dearest Severus,

I love you. I love you more than I can ever explain. Never doubt that. My heart is yours and yours alone. I wish for nothing except to share my life with you.

But I can't. We cant go on like this. If anyone finds out, our lives will be ruined. I wish it wasn't this way but we both know it is.

We won't meet again, the way we have been. I will never again feel the warmth of your kiss, your touch. You have no idea how much this pains me. Please. Go live a normal life. Marry. Have children with a wife. Give them your love.

I do not ask you to stop loving me. I hope that by now that is impossible. And I will never, ever stop loving you. I suppose someday I will marry. Possibly have children. And I hope you will remain by my side. I hope you do not hate me for this. It is not what I want. It is causing my so much pain to do this, but it has to be done. I'm so sorry.

But I am so glad that this happened. Not us splitting, but us. Together. Even though this is the most painful thing that has ever happened to me, I would never wish for this to not have happened. It has been the best experience of my life. Imagine, if it hadn't happened. If we had never shared our love. How different we would be. I don't think I could bare it.

I love you Severus. I always have and I always will. Never ever doubt that. It is the truth. I swear it to you will all that I am. You have my heart. My soul. My very being. I can never, and would never, even if I could, take it back. I love you. Forever.  
Always yours

James.

End. A/N This might be the beginning of a story, instead of a One shot like it is now. In the story those dreams Snape has might turn out to be true. Do you want to see this? It all depends on you guys


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